My ex updated her status on Facebook and said she was on a cliff, so I poked her.

A burp is just a fart that took the elevator...

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable. Please, take them off.

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on.

Occupy Band Names - Rise Against the Government.

I have a BIG BLACK CLOCK.

Sometimes, when I get bored, I stand in the middle of my bedroom and pretend to be a turtle.

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable. Please, take them off.

Doctors Better Than Conrad Murray..... Dr. Pepper.

Doctors Better Than Conrad Murray..... Dr. Pepper.

Why don't mosquitoes suck fat and cellulite instead of blood...

Why doesn't Tarzan ever have a beard? He lives in the wilderness but has a clean shave...WTF!? Lifes Little Questions

Childhood is like being a drunk, everybody remembers what you did except you....